time we won’t get back
Time moves fast. And yet, sometimes, time stands still.
Right now, we are all isolated in our homes. The previous patterns and rhythms of life have been undone by a vicious virus. There are days where I blink and it is over. And there are days when I look at the clock and it is only 11am.
I feel so incredibility grateful to be surrounded by my family at home. We have food to eat and a strong internet connection that keeps us engaged in work, school and outside life. We are having nightly family dinners and movie nights. As much as we are missing our broader family and friends, we have fallen into a pattern of knowing that we have each other to rely on. We are a little family unit just like when the kids were really young and didn’t have any outside influences like friends, sports or other activities.
Before the COVID crisis started I had been feeling anxious about my older boys nearing the end of high school and leaving the house. I was scared of being lonely. I was worried they would move on and I would be left behind with nothing but empty bedrooms and a lack of purpose. As we isolate together in our home, I find myself noticing that what I had feared has faded and been replaced by an overwhelming sense of gratitude for this gift I have been given.
The gift of time.
Time with teenagers fully engaged at home. Time to have a family dinner every night. Time for the kids to understand the ins and outs of my day. Time for conversation about what I did before they were born. Trips I took. Jobs I had. Mistakes I made. The time to share deeper conversations about things I learned along the way including moments I am not proud of.
As I express gratitude for the gift of time with my family, I am also acutely aware of all the awful in our world right now with loss of life, businesses, jobs, hopes and dreams. Not everyone can can stay home. And while I don’t know what the world will look like when the virus subsides, I do know that this unexpected gift of family time at home has been most welcome.
And for that, I am so very grateful.
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