something about september

There is something about the month of September.

Maybe it is the start of school.

Maybe it is the fresh fall air.

Maybe it is being in a routine again after a (sort of) carefree summer.

Maybe it is that my mind can focus on one thing at a time after the chaos of everyone being home. 

There is something about this month where, in the quiet moments between school pick ups and work commitments, my memories of past Septembers are so vivid it is as if they happened yesterday. 

This week, a memory from long ago was triggered. I suddenly remembered driving on the highway to an obstetrician appointment while in the late stages of pregnancy with my youngest child. The sun was bright. The air was cool. I had the driver’s side window unrolled in my car. I remember feeling massively uncomfortable, my ribs were killing me and I barely fit behind the steering wheel. I was looking forward to meeting this little person soon but apprehensive of what life with three kids under four years of age would look like. I was having all the feelings. My brain was spinning with lists of things to do, people I had to call and preparing my older boys for the change in our family. I was a worry-ball of emotion filled with fear of the the unknown. 

That morning, I stepped out of my car at the doctor’s office. And there I felt it. The sun. The fresh air. I turned my face to the sky while standing in the parking lot. Instantly I felt calm. In that moment I knew I could do anything. In that moment my body felt lighter and my head clear. In that moment I knew it would all be okay. The September sun and the cool September morning brought a sense of clarity to a chaotic time in my life. 

It was the sun that day. And the fresh air. If I close my eyes right now it is like I am back in that moment. This week, as I stood and watched my youngest, now almost twelve year old son, have his picture taken with his besties on his first full day of school the sun was shining on the same angle as that memory from so many years ago. I smiled as I remembered driving to that doctors appointment, not knowing him yet, and feeling so overwhelmed about his imminent arrival. I smiled at the memory and silently thanked the sun and the cool September morning for guiding me through an emotion-filled time all those years ago.  

There is something about the month of September. It is a new beginning. A fresh start. Maybe that is why my memories during this month are so vivid. My mind is fresh. I am open to possibility. I can feel myself come alive with energy. 

This year, even though there is so much uncertainty there is still the promise of a new beginning. In the face of so much fear and worry there is always hope. Circumstances might change but opportunities for fresh starts exist now more than ever. 

As I think back on Septembers past I wonder what I will remember in the years to come about this September?

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