how was your day?

How was your day?

A simple enough question. I ask this question all the time. Sometimes I don’t always stop to listen to the answer, mind you. Sometimes, I ask the question as more of a greeting like Hi or Hello. And, when asked the question by others I will answer simply not always wanting to get into much more detail. Truthfully, I had not given much thought to the “how was your day?” question until recent conversations with my youngest son made me think some more.

My son is an energetic middle school-aged kid who typically comes bursting through the door each day and, without fail, after plopping his backpack down, asks "How was your day Mum?".  Some days I say it was good. Some days I am a little peppier and excitedly tell him something that had happened with my day. But often, I respond with a "It was okay". Which, to me, means that my day that was neither here nor there. It was average. There was nothing of significance to report. Answer the question and move on.

However, to him, a day that is "okay" means that something was wrong with it. 0ver the past months we have started talking about how he thinks about his day. From his perspective, every day is truly "awesome". On days when something might not go as well as he had hoped the day would be classified as "good" but in general it was still a great day. So when I tell him that my day was "okay" he stops what he is doing, gives me a hug and wonders what is wrong. "Every day is awesome, Mum” he says. “Why wasn't your day awesome?".

Talk about a reminder when I least expected it. To me, a simple, greeting-like question had been asked in a genuine, caring way and I, for the most part, brushed it off. He actually wanted to know about my day. And, he wanted to share his excitement about his day. As I think more about how he rates his day a few things stand out to me:

One, he reminded to me to start each day with the premise that it will be awesome because every day we get to wake up and start fresh is awesome. Thinking this way sets the tone for the day. If we believe that the day is going to be awesome chances are it will be. Or, at least when things don't go as planned, we are in a better headspace to manage the bumps in the road.

Second, he reminded me to really listen to what the answer is when I ask someone about their day. Listen to the subtleties in their words. Watch their body language. Stop what I am doing to fully engage. Pause before moving on to the next topic to see what else might be shared. I had been taking the “how was your day” question for granted but am now approaching it with a refreshed curiosity.

And, third, he reminded me to appreciate a simpler perspective on life. The day doesn't have to be complicated. There are signs of awesome scattered throughout the day. Put enough of those together and the day, as a sum, is awesome and the not-so-awesome fades into the background.

We tend to use "How are you?" and "How was your day?" liberally. But how often do we really stop to listen to the answer? How often do we really pause to connect with the person we are talking to?

I am glad my twelve year old reminded me that if a day is just “okay” maybe I didn’t pause to observe what was really good. As he pointed out, there is always something that makes a day good. It was a solid reminder to start with awesome and find joy in places I don’t always expect to.

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