finding strength in daily habits
I have long been obsessed with habits and routine.
Some habits I learned at an early age. Brushing my teeth for example. My Mum taught me how to hold a toothbrush, how long to brush for and which direction to move the bristles as a toddler. How many of us think about our technique when we brush our teeth now as adults?
Other habits I have acquired over time. Once I learned how to put on makeup it now happens, for the most part on autopilot. I keep my makeup in a toiletry bag on the bathroom counter. When I am getting ready in the morning I start by taking everything I need out of the bag and placing it on the counter. Then, as I use each product, I put the item back in the bag. For me, this habit means that I know what I have already used and what I still need to do. I don't have to pause and wonder if I have already applied deodorant!
James Clear, in his book, "Atomic Habits" defines a habit as a 'routine or behaviour that is performed regularly -- and, in many cases, automatically'. Brushing your teeth, putting makeup on, tying your shoes - these are all examples of daily habits that many of us do without thought. For me, habits are behaviours that have not only helped me function with basic life routines but are also tools I have leveraged to enable positive change or, provide stability when life is whirling around me.
A few years ago, we went on a family heli-hiking trip. I was so excited about the adventure but was in the worst physical shape of my life. The added pressure was that my youngest son, who was a year and a half at the time, would be carried in a hiking backpack for a lot of the trek. And, he was particular about who carried him ... Mom-ma! This meant I had to whip myself into shape and commit to the habit of daily movement. At first, it was hard. But I started small. And I was consistent. I kept showing up each day and bit by bit my strength grew. The trip has long since passed but physical activity is now a cornerstone of my daily life. And, the hiking trip, well, it is easily one of the most memorable experiences of my life.
When life feels chaotic around me I rely on my daily habits for a sense of control. Pandemic-land has put my daily routine to the test. Last year, when schools were closed and we were all at home everything felt topsy-turvy. At the start, it was hard to stay motivated. The urge to stay in pyjamas all day was strong. It felt pointless to go to bed at a consistent time or wake up early and journal like I usually do. But, after mourning what life was like 'before', I was able to find stability in my daily routine. And, in doing so, it strengthened my ability to weather the various pandemic-punches that continue to this day.
At one point, in our family, I was the repository for everyone's schedules, planning meals and telling kids where to put their things. My brain was ready to explode. Now, we have a centrally located whiteboard that everyone refers to so they know what is happening when (mostly without asking me!). And, they all have a dedicated place to put their crap when they come home. Meal planning has never been my strength but I have recently added a basic outline of dinners for the week and the kids, now that they are older, are helping to brainstorm and sometimes prep food. Implementing these systems and habits has enabled our family to talk about things we want to instead of yelling at each other because of miscommunication.
Regular, predictable daily habits can seem boring, mundane, blah. But they aren't. Habits and routine that are created intentionally, establish a foundation that enables us to live our best lives. A deliberately crafted set of daily habits helps me do more of what I want with the people I love.
So tell me ... what daily habits do you find strength in?
PS - if you would like to know when another story is posted be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss anything!