why I care about living with intention
Thank you for your generous response to my last post where I announced the launch of Sarah Hepburn Living. I am truly humbled all the kind and generous feedback I received. As I move forward in this space, I am continuing to pen essays and I hope you will read and, as always, and let me know your thoughts.
As I mentioned last week, I think a lot about what it means to live with intention. Why? What does living with intention even mean? Doesn't life just roll along and you take each day as it comes? Well, yes, life does roll along ... sort of. But you might not like where you roll to if you don't have some influence over where you are going. At least that was my experience.
I used to think that if I woke up each day and did my best I would feel good about life. Like, close my eyes, click my heels three times and poof I would be magically transported to where I wanted to be. This worked for a while. But life was busy. I took for granted that I could race through my days without thought. But then, signs along the way started to appear. Signs that I generally ignored, mind you. Wobbly health events. Frustrations with close relationships. Creeping feelings of resentment. Lack of motivation. Feeling tired all the time. The cracks in my go go go life were appearing. Mostly I just kept rolling hoping that things would be okay. Sometimes they were. But, increasingly they weren't.
The reality was I cruised out of bed in the morning and spent each day in reaction-mode. I was running from one thing to the next hoping it would go well and not having a particularly clear vision for what "well" actually meant. I said yes to everything and was increasingly tired and burnt out. I had never really stopped long enough to consciously allow myself to think about how I wanted to live each day. I was pretty much winging life.
Until one day I found myself sobbing in front of the bathroom mirror. The kids were all at school and I looking forward to a quiet day of catching up on the random to-do lists of life. As I stared at myself in the mirror I looked like the same Sarah but inside I felt like a tangled mess. How did I get here I wondered? What had happened to those things I thought I wanted to do? Or, places I wanted to go? It was like I blinked and missed my twenties and thirties entirely.
It was in that moment that I realized that the clock of life was ticking. In that moment I knew something had to shift. In that moment things started to come into focus. Somewhere along the way I had forgotten that the only person who was in charge of living my life was me. In my go-go-go state I had never paused long enough to observe and listen and get clear on what mattered to me. Not to my family. Not to my friends. Not to my colleagues. Me.
As it turned out, my body forced me to slow down when I was sidelined by a series of recurrent infections. I focused on making changes that would strengthen my physical body. I gave myself permission to say No. No to work that stressed me out. No to events I didn't want to go to. And, no to relationships that felt empty. And, maybe this is the biggest one of all, I gave myself the gift of time. I went away and totally unplugged for a week, away from expectations from others, and reconnected with myself.
Slowing down allowed me to be intentional with how I wanted to live. Intentional with what I wanted to do and intentional with who I wanted to spend time with.
I care about living with intention because it means that every day I can make choices. And, each choice walks me down the path towards a life that I can look back on with no regrets. It isn't a linear path and some days are better than others. But by listening, observing, knowing and making conscious decisions each day I know I am living life on my own terms.
I care about living with intention because it means I get to create a life I am proud to call my own.
So, tell me, what are you living each day with intention? Hit reply and let me know.
With gratitude,
Sarah
PS - if you want to create a life & home you love subscribe for more inspiration - I share even more in my Letters from Sarah that I send regularly