steady hand

My Dad has passed along many bits of advice over the years but this one stuck with me and it feels more relevant now than ever. He first said it to me when one of my kids was having a hard time at school. I was in full problem-solving mode. Looking at all options, making all the calls, ready to make major changes. Everything at the time was full of big emotions, fears of what could happen and frustrations that things weren’t as they should be. In the midst of all this he calmly said to me on the phone one day: “Keep a steady hand”.

Really? I thought to myself. What does that even mean?? How can I keep a steady hand when things seem to be falling apart around me? How can I keep a steady hand when external forces keep telling me something needs to change? How can I keep a steady hand when there is so much pressure to do otherwise?

I thought about it. And, thought some more. I am a doer by nature. Trusting that things will unfold as they will is hard for an action-oriented person. But somehow his words made sense. I paused. I paused on the immediate reaction to problem solve. I paused on the immediate need to make a change. I paused on the need to be in control of the situation. I just paused.

It isn’t easy. It sometimes feels slow and like I am moving backwards. But it has become a guiding principle for me in life. This applies to the big and little things. My kids tell me on Monday that they want to go to a party on Friday. I am annoyed as it messes up my weekend plans. But … keep a steady hand … chances are their plans will change because they are teenagers and Monday is a lifetime away from Friday in their minds. Two hours advance planning is the equivalent of several days to an adult!

Right now we are less than two weeks from the start of the school year. In our brave new pandemic world classrooms will look nothing like the spaces kids and teachers left six months ago in March. There are mask requirements, rules to keep a distance from friends, frequent hand-washing, reconfigured classrooms and changes in schedules. And there is fear. So much fear. Fear that not enough is being done to implement recommendations from healthcare experts. Fear of infection. Fear that children’s learning will be massively impacted. Fear of the long-term mental health effects of social isolation. And, fear that another wave of the virus will close schools down again.

In the face of so much uncertainty I am choosing to trust my instincts that things will unfold as they will. I am choosing to stay informed but limit how I consume the news to preserve my own mental health. I am choosing to be clear on what is important for my family and know when action is necessary. I’m choosing to act consciously not react to fear and to keep a steady hand.

Now more than ever I am putting my Dad’s sage advice to use. I don’t know what the next few months will look like but I do know that with a deep breath, a pause and a steady hand it will be okay.

I’m choosing to keep a steady hand.

PS - if you would like to know when another story is posted be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss anything!