she let go
At the start of the COVID period, three months ago now, a beautiful friend of mine shared the poem “She Let Go” by Safire Rose with me.
It stopped me in my tracks when I first read it. I saw so much of myself in the words. A girl who made decisions with her head instead of her heart. A girl who set goals and analyzed the details. And, a girl who made choices for the “right” reasons.
In recent weeks I have been frustrated, angry and at times impatient. No one in my house has been immune to my moods. It was bothering me that I didn’t have a plan for the summer. It was bothering me that the kids didn’t seem motivated to get a job. It was bothering me that my husband was still working a ton. And it was bothering me that I felt stuck. One of my mentors had said back in March that there will be people who will struggle with the change. These are the people who will, as they are falling off a cliff, cling tightly to the edge. They dig in so deep that they scrape the edges on the way down. Or, there will be people that let go when they fall off a cliff and trust that something will appear to soften the landing.
I have always prided myself on my resilience and adaptability. However, I have now realized, over the past three months, I have been clinging to the side of the cliff. I have been fighting the whole way down. I am banged up and bruised and my fingernails are full of dirt from the side of the hill. I have been holding on to an expectation of life and when change happened it has taken me time to roll with it. “She Let Go” popped up on my screen the other day and it was just the reminder I needed. I felt a wave of relief wash over me as I read the final few lines:
“Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.
There was no effort.
There was no struggle.
It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad.
It was what it was, and it is just that.
In the space of letting go, she let it all be.
A small smile came over her face.
A light breeze blew through her.
And the sun and the moon shone forevermore … “
Let go Sarah. It is okay to let go.
This is me letting go of expectations, letting go of the shoulds, letting go of feelings of obligation and letting go of wishing things hadn’t changed so rapidly.
Today I pause before I react. I breathe in. And I let go.
P.S. I have included the full text below so you can read the poem in its entirety.
She Let Go
by Safire Rose
She let go.
She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go.
She let go of the fear.
She let go of the judgments.
She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head.
She let go of the committee of indecision within her.
She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons.
Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.
She didn’t ask anyone for advice.
She didn’t read a book on how to let go.
She didn’t search the scriptures.
She just let go.
She let go of all of the memories that held her back.
She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward.
She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.
She didn’t promise to let go.
She didn’t journal about it.
She didn’t write the projected date in her Day-Timer.
She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper.
She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope.
She just let go.
She didn’t analyze whether she should let go.
She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter.
She didn’t do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment.
She didn’t call the prayer line.
She didn’t utter one word.
She just let go.
No one was around when it happened.
There was no applause or congratulations.
No one thanked her or praised her.
No one noticed a thing.
Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.
There was no effort.
There was no struggle.
It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad.
It was what it was, and it is just that.
In the space of letting go, she let it all be.
A small smile came over her face.
A light breeze blew through her.
And the sun and the moon shone forevermore…
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