friends that are like family
There are friends. Then there are friends that are like family. These are the people that show up for you when it matters. These are the people that know your story. These are the people your kids trust and can count on. These are the people that are always in your corner.
I was lucky enough to have an "Aunt-because-I-wanted-her-to-be" growing up. She was my Mom's best friend and we called her AF. She filled the room with laughter and chatter. She was never at a loss for words. She would talk your ear off about sports, literature, politics and food. She was always curious and interested in what was going on in your life. I felt like I could ask her anything. And, I did!
Our relationship evolved as I grew older and she stayed connected throughout my life. As the years went on I didn’t spend as much time with her as I had when I was young but she made sure she knew what was going on in my life. She wrote me a beautiful letter when I graduated university. She rolled up her sleeves and helped with whatever was needed when I got married. And, when I had kids, she got to know their personalities too.
She had the ability to make you feel like you were the most important person in the world and always found a way to connect even to the quietest of personalities.
Food was one of her love languages and you could always count on being sent home with leftovers after you’d been at her house. My kids fondly remember her handing them full-size chocolate bars once when we visited. I recall rolling my eyes thinking how wired they would be on sugar and she just giggled and said “Good Luck my darling girl!” as I left.
Most of all she supported everything I did. She would craft thoughtful comments on my essays and send me articles and notes that she thought I might find interesting. She encouraged me forward and believed in me when I didn’t always believe in myself.
I was sharing stories about my Aunt with a close friend recently and she commented that everyone needs an AF in their lives. Everyone needs someone they can count on as a trusted advisor. Everyone needs a parent-like figure that can cheer you on, share in your joy and be there when you need a boost. She pointed out that I am like an AF to her kids and it made me smile a huge smile. I am so grateful to play that role now for kids of friends that are like family.
When I think about the role of honorary Aunt I think of the shining example AF was for me. Be curious. Be engaged. Be fun. Be encouraging. Be a trusted voice. As a parent now myself I am grateful to friends that are Aunts and Uncles to my own children. I am grateful that my boys have people they can count on when I am not around or if they need another perspective.
They say it takes a village to raise a child and I am so grateful that my dear AF was part of the village that raised me.
As I write this essay I am sad knowing she won't share some wisdom with me after it posts but I take comfort knowing that somewhere she is smiling her big smile and encouraging me forward. She was a shining light for so many and is missed in ways that words can’t begin to describe.
Do you have an AF in your life? Do you have friends that are like family?
PS - I would love it if you took a minute to subscribe for more inspiration - I share even more in my Letters from Sarah that I send regularly