finding sarah
Today, I’d like to tell you a story …
There once was a 44-year-old woman. She had a loving husband. Three amazing kids. A beautiful home. She had a thriving business. She was close to her parents, sisters and in-laws and had a loyal group of girlfriends she could count on.
But over time cracks started to to appear. Mystery illnesses. Mood swings. Feeling scattered. A lack of focus. A general sense that she was wandering through life without purpose. Doing what was expected of her but not really knowing what she expected of herself. The internal call to dig deeper was growing stronger and stronger.
She had been thinking about doing a week long retreat in Ireland called BraveSoul for a few years. There were always reasons why it didn’t make sense to go. The timing wasn’t right. Or it was too expensive. Or it was too complicated to sort out family arrangements. And, and, and. But this time, she knew she needed to take a big leap. No more baby steps. She signed up for BraveSoul, got on a plane to Dublin, rode a bus to County Clare on Ireland’s west coast to a little town called Ballyvaughan and met a group of people she didn’t know. To say she was nervous was a massive understatement. But it just felt right. Like she belonged. Like she had permission to be fully herself without expectation.
She turned off her phone and fully immersed herself in walks on the Burren and fireside chats with new, like-minded friends. She took time on her own like never before to ask hard questions, face uncomfortable truths and open her heart to dream about possibility and what is to come.
That 44-year-old woman is named, Sarah. That 44-year-old woman was me! I found her somewhere along the path hidden in the centuries old stone walls, inhaling the salty air of Galway Bay, hiking the breathtaking Cliffs of Moher and raising a sneaky pint in the local pub. Attending BraveSoul a year ago changed my life forever.
The Sarah in me has always been there. But I had been hiding. More comfortable in the shadows. More comfortable to let others shine. More comfortable to ignore my wants and desires because it was easier for everyone around me.
But no more. I found my voice in Ballyvaughan and have begun to peel back the layers. It is a work in progress but the fact that you are reading these words speaks volumes to how far I have come.
I was given a special necklace at the end of my week in Ireland. My name, Sarah, is written in an Early Medieval Irish script called Ogham. I wear this necklace almost every day as a reminder of who I am. And, even when it is not around my neck it is never far. I will forget who I am again.
It has been a year since I came home from Ireland. It has been a year of growth, a year of some hard conversations and year of listening to my inner voice and intuition instead of squashing it down. It hasn’t been all roses but I have a stronger sense of self and am building the confidence to share my voice into the world like never before.
If I could offer one piece of advice it would be to take the time for yourself. Take it for you. Take it for your loved ones. It will make you a better human to those who count on you to show up every day.
Turn your phone off. Go where you can’t be found. And try things you didn’t think were possible.
Once you start you won’t be able to stop. I promise.
PS - if you would like to know when another story is posted be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss anything!
“Sarah” written in Ogham, an Early Medieval Irish script