asking for what you want in life

I was on a call recently and the question was posed:

What if you asked for what you wanted in life with no attachment to the outcome?

As I was taking notes, I knew immediately what the answer was. I want to be a writer. I have always wanted to be a writer. I love stories about people. I think that everyone has a unique story to tell even when they don’t believe that themselves.

I am terrified to say it out loud. I have been hiding from this declaration for years. I’ve always done what I felt like I should be doing. Getting a corporate job. Running my own business. Juggling work and kids and home. So. Many. Shoulds.

But saying what I want? No way. I’ve said before what I want but it has always been disguised as “what should I do” or “what makes sense”. Never simply believing that if I start with asking “what do I want” the rest will fall into place. In fact, it has been so long since I’ve even allowed myself to ask that question without expectation that it has been difficult to answer.

When I have asked myself in the past what do I want it has come with expectation and caveats galore (both from myself and others). Is it a viable business to monetize? Will I be able to juggle with family life? What will others think about what I am doing? Am I good at it? I have never started with the simple question of what do I want without adding in an if, and or but to the answer.

I want to be a writer.

I want to be a writer and I want to write for the pure love of writing and sharing stories and creating through the written word. I don’t want to write because I will make tons of money. I want to write because I believe that I have something to say, something to share and that my voice is my own. I want to write because I become alive each morning when I sit to write. It is literally my favourite and best time of day.

So there. I have said it out loud. I want to be a writer.

Am I attached to the outcome? Nope. If no one reads my words I am totally fine. I write for me. Maybe someone will find meaning in my words and maybe not. And that's okay. But starting now I write. And I feel more and more like the girl who has been waiting to show herself to the world.

xo

PS - if you would like to know when another story is posted be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss anything!